Why Choosing the Bold Path Is the Opposite of Failure
Last night, I asked Ted what I should write about for this email.
Without missing a beat, he said:
“Tell them your husband’s a big loser.”
We laughed immediately. But looking at him on the couch, I could tell there was a tiny part of him that meant it.
After spending more than half his life performing in orchestras, Ted made a huge leap into arts leadership and administration. He left the familiar performing path to pursue bigger change in the classical music world.
Exciting? Yes.
Terrifying? Also yes.
Many of you know he joined the Dayton Performing Arts Alliance as VP of Artistic and Operations. But after his position was eliminated last year, he found himself sitting with the kinds of questions that show up in every in-between season:
Did I make the wrong choice?
What if this path wasn’t the right one?
What now?
And honestly? Those questions are real.
He’s currently back performing temporarily, auditioning again, applying for leadership positions, exploring opportunities, and staying open to what comes next. It’s uncertain. It’s messy. It’s humbling.
But from where I’m sitting, that’s not failure.
That’s someone brave enough to leave comfort behind in order to pursue something meaningful.
That’s living.
And I think many of us need that reminder.
There’s a strange kind of “shrinking to fit” that can happen in conservatory culture and highly technical training environments. We learn how to succeed inside a system, but sometimes we forget how to expand beyond it.
I realized recently that even after building businesses, creating programs, teaching, and pursuing creative work outside the orchestra world… a part of me was still trying to fit neatly into expectations.
Until now.
So here’s the big dream I haven’t fully said out loud before:
I’m building a retreat center.
A beautiful, regenerative space for musicians and creatives to gather, rest, experiment, record, perform, think, create, and connect. A place with workshops, gathering spaces, walking trails, books, music, ideas, and room to breathe.
Not “someday.”
Now.
Will it work? I honestly don’t know.
Is it scary? Absolutely.
Do I still want to do it anyway? Completely.
Because I keep thinking about Ted sitting on that couch, wondering if taking the risk made him a “loser.”
But the truth is, the real loss would’ve been never trying at all.
We tend to think excellence only exists in huge moments — winning auditions, landing jobs, getting accepted into prestigious programs.
But excellence also lives in the quiet, everyday choices:
- Showing up even when you’re uncertain
- Applying again after rejection
- Continuing to create meaningful work
- Choosing purpose over permission
- Taking small steps toward a bigger vision
That’s the kind of excellence that builds a meaningful life.
So if there’s something bold calling you right now — a project, a career shift, a dream you’ve been quietly carrying — maybe this is your sign to stop shrinking yourself to fit.
You don’t need permission to expand.
And despite Ted’s joke… no, he’s not a loser.
You’re not either.
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